cristian's wordpad & lingering thoughts

dose of Cristianism & other absurdities.

Posts tagged “poetry

nameless

Posted on June 28, 2019

it’s almost time for a confessional. let’s bathe our feet while we dance sediment wash. baptism in the chemical sand trekking through the barriers that barely stand in touch with invariance. writing love letters. barely legible; sun setters cantaloupe sky. dusk settles. what’s warm love in november? it’s cranberry cheeks. your tongue tingling. teeth surrendering ourselves to eruption. lungs blistering. freeze i’ve talked to god on occasion. mention mary and seph’ carried a mountain on my shoulders through a valley of death i’ve longed for delay. had a walk through nirvana hoisted a banner reading ‘i want to be craved’ we just want to be loved. we just want to partake. on a trotting that doesn’t involve being numb noticed your aura carrying breath…

HUMILITY

Posted on May 29, 2019

soul is sequestered. hanging fruit, in a forest of giants praying for atonement or a holy alliance molding my bones. soul seller solely uncensored sling to be highest bidder, sold to goliath liquor bottle pried in my fingers. corroded and weathered like sewing a sweater, stitching holes i’m developing linoleum tiles. alone in his centerpiece, exhausted, and smiling phone ringing. moment of silence calloused fingers, punching the rotary dialing show me a sign, show me these messages but show me something, worth something more than im fretting for patternized moments wove into metaphors tethered alignment into saturn skies orbit were all enraptured to die for worse or for deserts. for better, I’m dying choke in the sandstorm that envelops the earth lying in dirt.…

indigo magenta

Posted on March 19, 2019

lachrymation and silence my most cherished possession. holstered like a primary weapon baseline until i count to 7, quiet like a library session four five six. these moments just help you evolve which adds truth to my theory that pain is a necessary involvement in life and in fiction, typecast me as your typical loner sedentary absolving finding peace as a cynical joker time caught in a stone. i’d propose if you let it i could grab you a minute, if you’d hold me a second slowly regressing into a caterpillar hold me. then clench me. visit my calloused winters (don’t) let me go- grab my spring and it’s passive whispers don’t catch my depression. but, do catch my kisses even if it’s something…

blog post: reaction: self help

Posted on February 14, 2019

this is in response to a friends blog post, titled “self help” a person i silently & greatly admire from afar. in ten days from valentines, it will be the “anniversary” of when my childhood friend, took his own life. i was 17. he lived down the street from where I lived. the morning after I went to school, (late, as usual) walked towards the class I was failing. noticing something very strange about the air. when i walked into class, everyone sort of just welcomed me, with fake smiles. depleted hearts. sobering reality kicked in, and the world seemed off. i didn’t pay much attention to it, i didn’t pay much attention to anything that seemed off. cause, fuck the world, and fuck…

again and again, again.

Posted on January 16, 2019

again i hear footsteps awaken the creaks in the floor again. who the fucks at the door? night stand machete laid neatly in drawer revolver neath queen mattress. in case of a quarrel but there’s nothing. just repentance, contempt, intentions dissolved gun powder, protein drinks, and penniless thoughts could’ve sworn there was something. apparently not hear a swarm of bees next to me every day before dark borderline manic. try undoing the damage safe spaces fossilize our balloons & our cages as therapeutic as raindrops on metal roof interchanges interpersonal relationships via internal damnation stray further from kinship. purge the pervasion starboard the king ship. observe the insane social connection more grandeur than normal distinction hormonal response. formality close to instinction forming a bond.…

nice’s guys finish last

Posted on December 22, 2018

I’m stronger than you. Or, I thought I was. Maybe I am. Don’t fucking touch me. Make up your mind. Tell me you love me. Fuck me like you mean it. Mean it when you fuck me, love me when you tell me, you love me. Tell me a secret. Show me your ghosts. I’ll show you my demons. Baby, you should go. Maybe we only got along cause our monsters played nice. How to atone? I’m so over, being alone. But, I rather be alone, than prone to abandonment and holding, on to consolement that’ll never be known. Fuck what your sentiments wrote – they lied to me and let it be shown. A lantern is only a guide if the lights lit,…

slowly

Posted on December 19, 2018

she whispers in a drunken moan. she’s slowly falling in love ask her how slowly? we’re slowly making art when we fuck making sure she comprehends. a lion covered in cuts licking wounds. vicissitude. saliva and blood we’re controlled experiments. and you’re variable A variable b, mumbles to himself. paranoia pirated brain dancing in her solitude, self awareness immense telling women it’s ok to aim that gun to my head what’s wrong with you? she asks. where do i start the mountain that’s eroding or my castle of rocks where debris of glass houses lay in demise I’m praying to god. don’t even know if god cares that i die barely a heart. just a human vessel, imitating a life my advice to any…

when hercules jumped into river styx

Posted on November 19, 2018

KILL OR BE BROKEN. KILL OR BE ME killed in combat over and over killing disease killed in disguise killed when i sleep killed in my dreams, killed cause I’m weak attracting spiritually broken, they see healer in me chill in my bones. killing me slowly, kiss me. it’s frozen feeling the breeze. or is that you behind, huffing on these maroon eye, jeweled demon, ruby iris. drool dripping do or die wolve wedding. sheep ring bearers, unsheared sheep pastor wool clothing. the warmth of our corrivalry helps me fall asleep faster hyper empath, i hear your heartbeat miles away hear it, before i fall asleep. hear it when I’m on a date why does it all of a sudden, beat faster? is it…

what the fuck do i do

Posted on October 24, 2018

the moon the moon the moon the sun the sun the moon press mute succumb doomed doomed doomed I’m doomed. we’re done who who who are you who are us? collusion contusions. you’re a cup of hot chocolate on the fiercest winter morning feel the blisters forming whistle through the windows pixelating percentage whistling. cold air whistling dixie through the windows it’s snowing. frost on the glass particle splat icicles look like christmas ornaments your silence makes me question myself i was too human too human. too human too godamn human. too. human. (everywhere i put a period, is a moment in the story where i teared up and cried) . .. . i fucking, maybe i should’ve danced. that one time that one…

fire breather

Posted on October 19, 2018

I’m a fucking fire breather. Breathing fire. Eating dragons, for breakfast who wants some? None of you do I’ve held back for quite some time exerting no strength Ball of fire. Giving the sun spots ink blots and think thoughts disregard your discourse munching on mantras, making mistakes barely i learn from them wake up from nightmares hardly impressed more creative next time, brain laughable sequence, you could never understand i ain’t lazy just smart you work hard i work smarter catch a sneeze in the air yelling from the sidelines telling mayweather his footwork is scarce looking at my mile times like godamn how old is too old to compete in the olympics? facebook shows me gold medal ads the next day your…

mad scientist

Posted on October 15, 2018

mix gunpowder and moments. of silence gather components you’d author with smiles combustible crossover. lost in your eyeballs. gifting a locket, heart shaped alloy wishing upon a asteroid comet because… it’ll turn to debris before it reaches to me countdown from three, wishing your frown obsolete douse gasoline, that sets blaze to decree miscellaneous. mundane. missiletoe mainframe. hypnotize what lingers in me complex emotions compartmentalizing alone left alone in your apartment high strung and high-rise. affectionate tease was used to darkness from sun rise- till sun shivers stand in front of me, shut eyes with your fingers pressed mute with your kisses tell the moon to revisit. i’d mouth i loved you in english what could’ve been at a later date neck, shoulder, premeditation…

hellhound pt2

Posted on October 7, 2018

heartbreaking shattering crushing blasphemous, bludgeoning, over saturated don’t be surprised if we can’t be separated science needs a new invention to mend hearts or a swab test for tears where a story is written by the chemicals in them and the chemicals in them are only ones that i can create with my signature on them my blood, and my distinction nobody else well, that is interesting. cristian doesn’t want it to end like this the story is written by an author who has no business writing it don’t be surprised if one night we’re looking at each other eye to eye holding each other, close so close so close, i can feel you brush your passionate breaths against my lungs that fill with…

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